A Golden Star
by ayoungcheerio
Summary: Inspired by the death video of Rachel Berry floating around tumblr.  Warnings: Major Character Death


She stood in front of the tall mirror as she looked at herself. She looked at her head, her facial features, her lips, her nose, her eyes, her hair. She traced the shape of her face and her shoulders and down to her hips. She stared at her legs and the way her kneecaps were a bit larger than the rest of her legs. She looked at her feet and then back up into her own eyes. She studied them, I mean really studied them. They were dark and empty, not filled with any emotion. Her eyes closed as she felt tears slip down her cheek involuntarily. Her head was filled with thoughts of what they all said, what she had been through, and how much it truly hurt her. She opened her eyes once more to see a complete stranger staring back at her. Who was she, and what was her purpose here?

Her lips opened to speak, but no words came out. Her mouth shut and she silently looked over her shoulder back at the bathtub where a sharp razor blade lay on the side. A piece of paper was gently set on a small stool set right next to the tub. It was a list of all the Glee club members. Next to each of their names, a couple sentences had been written down for each one of them. She looked back at the mirror before closing her eyes and sighing deeply. Although, that sigh did come out as a strangled sob. She quickly put her hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes to let out the remaining tears. She shook her head and regained composure before looking at herself once more in the mirror and turning around and walking towards the bathtub, slowly but surely.

"Come on, Rachel. You can do this. It's too hard now." She berated herself. She felt emptiness in the pit of her stomach and she knew what she had to do. Rachel turned the knob on and water began to pour into the tub, filling it up. She shed off her clothes, looking again in the mirror, somehow disgusted with herself. She wasn't disgusted with her body, but she was disgusted for the type of person she was. That's why everyone had told her thing things they had, right? She dipped her foot experimentally into the now-filled bathtub. It was just the right temperature. She laid down in the tub, resting her head against the end.

_This is it. You do this, and all the pain will be over. Rachel Berry will be remembered as the lead of New Directions who had been driven to her death. _

Rachel sighed once more before scanning over her suicide note and grabbing the razor blades. She took a rag towel she had laid out on the side and put it in her mouth, making sure that any noise she made from the pain wouldn't come out, or at least come out as a soft whimper.

Do I really want to do this?

Rachel Berry was not a weak person. She never let things get to her. At least, she thought she didn't. She held everything in and soon it all became too much. It was an overload and she was drowning in her emotions.

_"Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room as you."_

_"I'd like to preserve you, in a jar."_

_"Nobody tells you anything because, a). you're a blabber mouth, and b). we all just pretend to like you."_

_"You used to be just sort of unlikable but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth."_

_"I loved you."_

_"It's because I'm your mother, but I'm not your mom."_

Rachel let out another sob, which was thankfully muffled by the rag in her mouth. She didn't want to waste anymore time as she grabbed the razor blade and inspected it with her eyes. She quickly dipped it in the water to cleanse it before quickly doing the deed. She slit both wrists before dropping the razor into the tub and leaning her head back again. Se shut her eyes, feeling the life slip out of her. She laid there, her cold and lifeless body. Tears still streamed down her cheeks, down her neck, before mixing in with the whirl of water and blood.

* * *

><p>Will Schuester was sitting in his office, looking over some new songs to show the Glee club and brainstorming some new weekly assignments. When he got a phone call, he expected it to be another teacher or another prank call from Sue.<p>

"Hello?" He asked, calmly, striking a song he had written down on a notepad.

"Is this Will Schuester?" A voice asked on the other line, sounding disturbed.

"Um, yes. Who is this?"

"This is Mark Berry, Rachel Berry's father," his voice was raspy, like he was out of breath.

"Oh. Oh. What can I do for you?" Mr. Schue relaxed in his chair, putting down his pen and leaning back, putting his head on his hand.

"My husband and I would like to speak to you in private…"

* * *

><p>Monday soon came and all the Glee kids piled in the room, gossiping and chatting, barely noticing the absence of Rachel. It was just like she had thought. No one would even realize she was gone until they needed her to sing or someone brought her up. Mr. Schue walked in, his eyes puffy and red. He didn't know why, but after he had heard the news, he had started bawling.<p>

"Guys, I have some bad news," Mr. Schue pulled up a stool to sit in front of everyone.

"Are you okay, Mr. Schue?" Mercedes asked.

"Yea, your eyes looked like someone peed on them," Santana remarked, earning a few stares. "What?"

Everyone shook their heads and turned back to focus on Mr. Schue.

"Guys, I don't know how to tell you this," he inhaled deeply before looking at everyone, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What, did someone die or something cause…" Puck asked.

Mr. Schue just looked at Puck. Puck immediately understood he was right and looked around the room. Rachel.

"Oh my god," Puck said, "No way, Mr. Schue. No way."

"What? What!" Everyone started asking, looking back and forth between Puck and Mr. Schue.

"Guys, who's not in the room right now?" Mr. Schue asked. Everyone looked around and at each other, before their eyes widened when they finally realized who was missing.

"Berry," Santana said.

"Oh my god," Quinn breathed.

"W-what about Rachel, Mr. Schue?" Finn asked.

"Rachel… Rachel committed suicide this weekend guys."

Numerous gasps and whimpers where heard from all the students before they all started crying. They all pulled into a group hug, not speaking but rather mourning for the loss of one of their own.

"Why?" Kurt breathed, looking towards Mr. Schue.

"She left a suicide note. She left a few words for each and every one of you. Rachel's dads gave me copies of certain parts of the note that pertain to you." One by one, Mr. Schue called them up to get their sheet of paper where the last words were written, the last words Rachel Berry would have ever said, and the last words they would ever hear from her.

* * *

><p>Artie.<p>

_Artie, you're one of the people here who actually didn't try to put me down every day. I thank you for that. I wish we had been closer, because I feel as if maybe I could have talked to you and have been comfortable with it too._

Artie had no idea what to think about after reading that. He knew that he could have been a bit nicer to Rachel, but he also knew he wasn't as mean to her like Santana and Quinn.

* * *

><p>Tina and Mike<p>

_I wrote you two a letter together because you two are like inseparable. You guys respected me and were at least somewhat supportive of me. Mike, you're an amazing dancer, and Tina, you're voice is really good. Don't let your talents go to waste like I did._

Tina had started to cry and Mike just held her, re-reading the note over and over again.

* * *

><p>Mercedes<p>

_You and I, we've had our moments. I know I could be a lot to handle at times, but I always thought of you as one of my best friends. Mercedes, I love you. I'm sorry for being hot-headed. But, that still didn't give you the right to say any of the things you do when you try and hurt me._

Mercedes was overcome with immediate guilt. She had no idea what to think or even comprehend.

* * *

><p>Brittany<p>

_Brittany, I know you were a cheerio and I know how popular you are. But… just because I'm not in your clique with Santana and Puck or whatever, it never gave you the right to treat me like you did._

Brittany couldn't even read the note, so she gave it to Santana to read it to her before her face turned all sad and she too cried harder than before.

* * *

><p>Santana<p>

_I never understood why you hated me so much. Maybe it was the clothes I wore or that fact that I had a little fling with Noah. I don't know what I ever did to you, Santana. But I know what you did to me._

Santana read through it over and over again. What did Rachel mean by that last line? Santana closed her eyes and sighed, feeling sorry for Rachel.

* * *

><p>Sam<p>

_Sam, thank you for actually dealing with me this year. Thank you for going to prom with me and Mercedes. I hope everything gets better with your family. Never stop learning and reading and playing music. It's the one thing that can help you escape your troubles. It helped me escape mine sometimes._

Sam threw his head back in frustration. Why couldn't he have been a little nicer to her, or at least have had befriended or something?

* * *

><p>Noah<p>

_You we're both there for me to bring me up, and there to shoot me down. I don't think we ever were friends after what happened sophomore year. But thank you for being there for me._

His jew companion, his jew princess, she was gone. He could have sworn there was something against suicide in the Torah, but right now it didn't matter. Rachel was gone, and he could have done something before it happened.

* * *

><p>Quinn<p>

_You know, I thought that maybe after you got pregnant and I was nice to you, you would try and at least reciprocate the act. But no, you just went after my every flaw and literally tore me to pieces. Quinn, I'm sorry I was never like you. Maybe if I was prettier or a bit more popular, you would have at least been able to talk to me without getting your reputation ruined._

Quinn rolled her eyes. Not at Rachel, or her note, but at herself. She was beating herself up mentally for putting Rachel through what she had mostly started. She looked down at the note and crumpled it a little, until her eyes were too blurred for her to see anything.

* * *

><p>Kurt<p>

_I know you just retaliate everything I say with witty comments or sarcastic remarks. But, those still hurt Kurt. You know that little things people say can bother you to no end. What I told you was true. I told you that you were not alone. I was just like you. Don't end up in my position. Do something useful with your life. Make it to Broadway. Make it to New York. Live._

Kurt wiped his tears before letting out a large sob. No one seemed to care, as they were all focusing on their letters and what they could have done. What could Kurt have done? Maybe he could have been a better friend to her. Maybe he could have talked to her and opened up a bit. She was human after all.

* * *

><p>Finn<p>

_You were the only person that didn't try to ridicule me every day or throw a slushie in my face. Well, after you joined Glee of course. Finn, I love you. I've always loved you. I think you know that. But, I just have to tell you before I go. I love you, I love you, I love you._

Finn threw his letter down on the ground, frustrated with himself, with everyone. He got up and stood in front of everyone, tears streaming down his face. "You all did this. All of you." That's all he said before he stormed out of the classroom, leaving everyone shocked.

* * *

><p>The funeral was absolutely beautiful. Her coffin was a glossy black color with gold lining. It was just how she would have liked it. Flowers were placed on the top of the coffin and off to the sides. A crowd surrounded the coffin. The Rabbi said a few things in Hebrew, while the Glee club stood together and just looked on forward. They watched as her two dads mourned over her loss. They watched her relatives shed tears and hug each other, holding on for dear life. They watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground, leaving no trace behind.<p>

After she was buried under the ground, the crowd dispersed, some going to Rachel's house for the after-funeral party. The Glee club stayed behind and just looked. They looked on to a girl, misunderstood, who now lay dead and buried. Finally, the group disbanded, leaving only Quinn and Finn.

"I loved her," Finn spoke quietly.

"I know you did," Quinn sniffed.

"I didn't mean what I said in Glee club the other day, about this being all your guys' fault," Finn glanced at her.

"But you were right," Quinn said.

Finn looked at her, a bit confused before she finally met his gaze.

"We all did this. We all killed her. We all said things and did things to her, without noticing how much it hurt her." With that, Quinn walked away, leaving Finn standing by the grave. Finn dropped the flower he was holding onto her grave and walked towards the hilltop, where the rest of the group was waiting.

Quinn was right. Rachel Berry was driven to death by her peers. That night, a single star shined in the sky, and everyone could swear on their life that it was golden.


End file.
